Expressing Grief

“Lekso bets” is the Amharic term for funeral ceremonies and they are a very important part of Ethiopian culture.  On the third day after someone passes away, most people in town walk to the church in the morning for a “crying ceremony.”  I attended one for the first time last week, and it was truly one of the most, if not the most, powerful experiences I have had here in Ethiopia.

Last week a 16-year-old boy tragically passed away in Mezezo, due to an accident at a very dangerous river nearby.  It was and continues to be heartbreaking for the Mezezo community.

Along with about 200 other women, all dressed in white cultural scarves (net’elas), with the colored, patterned edges framing our faces, as is done for funeral ceremonies, I walked along the dirt road in Mezezo.  As we walked, the mother of the young boy who passed away was near the front, emotionally saying and yelling “Lije,” which means “my child”.  After about 15 minutes we made it up the hill to the Church.  We all gathered around the place where the grave would be, and then the “crying ceremony” began.  In a matter of seconds after we arrived, the boy’s family (mother and siblings) began to scream, wail, cry, and shout “My brother, my son,” in Amharic.  Each family member had two people holding their arms as they flailed and expressed their grief in a very physically way, making sure they didn’t hurt themselves.  The surrounding 200 people began crying loudly as well, also wailing

and expressing sorrow.

Notice all the people in white filling the streets near the back of the picture.  They are leaving the church after a "lekso bet."

This is a net'ela, and the blue patterned side is worn around your face for funeral ceremonies.  For all other times (daily wearing, going to church, holidays), net'elas are worn with the plain white around your face and the pattern at the bottom, toward your legs.

After about 10 minutes, the large crowd formed a circle, with the boy’s mother and a few other women in the center.  There was some call and response chanting between those in the center and those in the surrounding circle, involving hitting your chest with your hands after what seemed to be each “chorus”.  I couldn’t understand all of what was being sung and chanted, but after a woman in the center would chant a few lines, the crowd would loudly say what sounded like “Why, why, why.”  There was much loud weeping and wailing, and it was extremely powerful and emotional; an experience that I will absolutely never forget.  I couldn’t help but weep as my heart was breaking for this family, and as it made me think of my family far away and how much they mean to me.

The entire “crying ceremony” lasted approximately 30 minutes, and then everyone solemnly and silently walked away from the church.  Over the following days, community members went to the family’s home to show their support, give money, and in a somber way, grieve.  At the family’s home people might stay for 10-30 minutes and visit, and eat k’olo (a roasted barley and chick pea mix).

This powerful experience has really made me think about grief and how different cultures express grief, especially in the context of the death of a community or family member.  I am still processing this experience and I have a lot more to learn about grief and funeral ceremonies in the Ethiopian cultural context, but it seems that the “crying ceremony” allows the family members and the community to really express their grief in a physical way, before they continue solemnly grieving, and it seems that this physical and powerful expression of grief may help the family and community to mourn.

This experience reminded me truly how short and precious life is, and that I must truly embrace it; it is so easy to take it for granted.

Christening

I had the opportunity to attend a Christening ceremony, in Molale, which is a 2-hour bus ride past my town, up a mountain.  From my understanding, according to the Ethiopian Orthodox Religion, Christening Celebrations occur 80 days after birth for a female and 40 days after birth for a male.  The child is not given a name until the time of the Christening.  The ceremony had some similarities to baptisms I have attended in Loveland, but in many ways it was very unique.

Along with 10 other women, dressed in our finest cultural white dresses and net’elas (cultural white thin scarves with colored, patterned edges), we walked to the church in town.  I walked alongside the beautiful mother, Meskerem, who was glowing in her white and ivory dress and cultural scarf, with bright colored accents.  We linked arms as we walked and I supported her slightly, because she had not really left the house in the past 8 weeks, which is common in Ethiopian culture for the first several weeks after a birth.

Part of the group walking along the road on a beautiful day in Molale!

Once we reached the church, we entered a room nearby, where four religious (male) leaders began chanting and singing.  The mother and the baby sat in front of the other women, nearby to the religious leaders.  They also surrounded her as they continued to speak and chant.  After about 15 minutes, the baby was handed to one of the religious leaders and then was completely undressed. In a corner of the room, water from a metal tea pot was poured all over her, before she was wrapped in beautiful white blankets.

The church, where people are gathered to pray for several hours during the day.

Two of the four religious leaders read and chant, as the mother and baby sit in between them.

After two hours spent at the church, listening to chanting and singing, we all ate a piece of the traditional bread before heading back home for the celebration.  As we began the 15-minute walk home along the dirt road, the rain came (and truly here when it rains it POURS).  All dressed in white, the group of us, two people with babies strapped to their backs, ran for cover amidst large amounts of puddles and mud! It was certainly a memorable exit from the church!  After a combination of waiting under a shop awning and catching a ride on a bus for the last portion of the walk, we arrived back home.

It is a huge celebration, with a lot of preparation involved. Hundreds of people came over the course of two days for a meal (injera with various types of fasting- no animal products- wots- Ethiopian Orthodox Christians are in the midst of 15 days of fasting currently) and t’ela (a local beer made from barley).  The different wots included lentils, beets, potatoes, cabbage, and carrots.  The pots that were used were about a foot deep and 2 feet in diameter, cooked over massive charcoal stoves.

This cultural experience of a very important religious ceremony was very memorable and I feel lucky to have been a part of it!! I’ll never forget the evenings spent sitting around a charcoal fire laughing and talking in Amharic with the other women, or the Christening Ceremony itself!

Laying the Ground Work: Finally off the Ground

Laying the Ground Work: Finally off the Ground!

“If you want to go fast go alone, if you want to go far go together.” – African Proverb

For the past 3+ months in Mezezo I have been laying the groundwork, so to speak, for future projects and for the rest of my time here. The past months included a lot of studying and practicing Amharic, and much time spent in the community meeting people and listening to needs and opinions of others. The African Proverb above really resonates the philosophy of Peace Corps and the work that I will do alongside the people of Mezezo.    I’m thrilled to say the hard work and patience paid off and due to a lot of great help from the people of Mezezo, I have started projects and work in Mezezo. 

First up: A Health & English Club at the Primary School.  We meet two days a week, for an hour each time.  There are between 25-50 students depending on the day, and we have discussed hand-washing, nutrition, and also English topics such as gerunds and adjectives.  As in Ethiopian culture, when I walk in the room for class, I say “Good Morning, Students” all the students stand up and in unison say “Good Morning, Teacher.”  Only when I say, “You may sit down, thank you,” do they find their seats and class begins.  Many students are shy to speak English, but gradually many are coming out of their shells and we are enjoying games and activities together during these summer months when there is not a regular school schedule.  It truly makes my day when students from the class run up to greet me in the road and ask to double check when we have class next!

English Tutoring/Lessons: For many people in town who are eager to learn English, having a “ferenji” or native speaker in town is an opportunity to practice and perfect their pronunciation.  Many have shown interest and have been eager to learn via lessons and tutoring.  I have four regular students: grades 3, 6, 8 and 9.  This is my first experience teaching English and it definitely is quite an experience!  As is the case with Amharic for me, pronunciation of some English words can be challenging for the students, and therefore I repeat words several times so they can hear the pronunciation before they try.  Turns out repeating a word about 10 times makes it sound like a jumble of letters and not a word at all, and makes me question if I’m even pronouncing it correctly! For example: try saying the word “vegetable” 10 times slowly with good pronunciation.  Also, you know the saying “I say potato, you say patato?”  While I was teaching the names for different food items last week, I myself struggled with how to correctly say both potato and tomato, especially since it’s a lot of pressure knowing these students are learning their pronunciation from me!  Just something to ponder while you’re out and about speaking English this week!  Especially the word “water,” which turns out I pronounce (along with many Americans I do believe): wu-der…  Seeing the students make progress, like when they shout, “This is delicious” while eating lunch or “Don’t mention it” in response to when I say “Thank You,” is priceless!

Additionally, I made my first full coffee ceremony at my home and had 3 wonderful women from Mezezo attend.  It was an incredible experience to from start to finish, washing, roasting, and grinding the beans, and hosting a coffee ceremony for others. I definitely still have a lot to learn to perfect the ceremony and technique, but it was a step in the right direction!  Visiting with the three women, as they graciously gave me tips and helped me was a wonderful experienceJ Not to mention the aroma when I came back to my home in the evening; freshly roasted and ground coffee, there is nothing like it!

Sinis (small cups used to drink buna), sitting upon a "rockabot"- a small stand found in everyone's homes!

 my first three guests for buna!

Washing the coffee beans!

Garden update: The kale is growing nicely and is getting to the point where it very soon will be ready to be picked!!  The squash and pumpkin plants are also doing well; the HUGE amounts of overnight rain are very helpful; I haven’t had to hand water in 3 weeks!

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